Yup. I also don't agree that it will be easier to leave than it would be to stay. Leaving will be harder and scarier. Staying means you get to deal with the devil you know, and there's comfort in that. But it's hurting you and it's not going to stop.
GAL means you develop a life that doesn't require him. It doesn't have to mean that you develop a life that your husband can never be part of under any circumstances . . . but a life of your own, as a complete person, so you have the ability to go on without any man unless you choose one. Differentiate yourself. Be your own person, with your own job, your own home, your own friends, your own hobbies, your own goals. If he someday becomes a man you can respect and be in love with again, you can decide then--with no desperation and no needy feelings--whether to let him join you in that life. But as long as you're fused to him this way, dependent on him for everything, you can't even really choose freely to be with him.
Again, if we sound like we're beating you up, we're not trying to. Speaking for myself, I think you basically knew all this whether you would have phrased it the same way or not. I don't think you would have posted the description you did unless you thought your marriage had gone wrong and you deserved much better. You do, but it takes guts and work and time.
Get an attorney and STOP thinking that you have to leave the home.
Why on earth do you keep feeling pressured that you have to leave? He is the one who is unhappy with no friends, so HE should leave. Stand your ground on this. If you give in to him he's going to continue to push you around.
As far as the online dating stuff goes, maybe you should create your own profile and see what he thinks about that!
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
