Beyond Depression..but still a losing battle?

[Lucky11too]

Interesting night yesterday - not sure what to make of it. For starters, H was supposed to come visit S yesterday but called MIL to say he was having a very down depressed day and wouldn't be coming (it was a gloomy day which never helps). I didn't hear from H all day either. Finally last night, I get a call from H (rarely calls, always texts) and he says how he wanted to call b/c texting takes too long (ok,that's new). We talked for a while and he told me about his newest addition to his tatto. He said since he had our family on the inside of his arm (not on purpose remind you, but how our birthstones + S's ended up together on his tattoo), so he added the birthstones of his parents on the outside (plus waves and stuff). Then somehow we started talking about us (I'm not sure how we got that direction), but I ended up asking if he had thought any more about us. You know the usual H reponses her - "I don't know", but then he starts this whole thing about how this is all not fair to me (yes, to ME! Since when did he start caring about my feelings???) Basically how this is not fair to me b/c he's all messed up and I'm having to deal with that, and how I'm having to "wait around for him" with no guarentee of a reconciliation, and lastly how it's unfair to me that if we don't work out, that he does not want any other guy in S's life (meaning to him, no other man for. Sorry, that's not the way it works!). He also mentioned that b/c I was able to leave before that I should be able to do what I want now. But anyways, I really don't know what to make of it all. Is it sincere? Manipulative? I don't know? I'm not sure I handled it like I wanted to exactly, but I just kind of said how our family is still my #1 priority and how understand he is still dealing with a lot of issues and am just trying to be here to support him while he works thru them. Oh, also interesting, he said how his followup sleep study is next month (august) and how at this point, he just wants to do whatever it takes to get better, including meds. If that's really true, that's quite a step for him. Now for him to follow thru with it all.

But then it goes back to us - what do I do about us now? He is obviously still talking with OW3 and it infuriates me. But on the other hand, he is making progress in other areas, so do I just ride it out for awhile and see if he ends it on his own??? I want to just tell him off about it since I've already mentioned it twice now and he continues to talk to her, and just say to him, "fine, it was her or me and you continue to have an R with her, so I'm out of your life now." But that would be the end. Grrr. I need to be smart about this, but I don't know how to proceed. I can't continue this with him being so disrespectful by him having this R, but do I exchange that for a hope of reconciliation? How can I get thru to him? He ask to come over for dinner tonight, so I'm going to have to think fast... =/