Hey, I have been following you since you came on the board 4 or 5 weeks ago. Let me just say first that your self control and poise are amazing. You have done so well compared to so many others who discover that their spouse is cheating on them and fall apart and do all the wrong things. You were lucky enough to have found this wonderful place as events unfolded in your life. You are even more blessed to have the advice of puppy and allen in your corner.
Some find this place only after the damage has been done from mishandling the awful situation we all find ourselves in. I fall into that category and my road is much longer and harder for it. Still others find this place in the eleventh hour and puppy will give them the advice they so desperately need to follow, their emotions get the best of them and then they still make their situations exponentially worse. (Puppy will confirm this).
You on the other hand fall into that category that found this place at the right time, got the right advice, listened, mastered your emotions and have IMO done everything almost perfectly. You are a hero!!! You should feel proud for what you have accomplished thus far.
I am sure you will handle the conversation with your W today perfectly.
I read your last post and you are starting to ask yourself those hard questions we all ask ourselves?
You are contemplating your future and what it will look like, will it include my W or will it not?
If my W does come back will I still want her? Can I still Love her?
You have reached a point where it is time to start to look at CD and stop looking at CD’s wife.
You can still hope for your M to survive, in order for that to happen you have to work on you first and fully detach from what your W is doing.
Things have been moving at the speed of light for you so far and if there is one commonality with everyone on this board it is TIME.
No matter the outcome it will take TIME. MWD mentions it in the book but it is very hard to really wrap your head around.
Time and Patience are the keys to success. Whatever your W tells you today does not necessarily mean that is the way she will always think. She can change her mind. She has already proven that, right?? She made a vow to be faithful to you and she changed her mind about that…….soooo….even if she says she done today, does not mean she will not change her mind in the future.
What I am saying here is that the decision that your M is over really lies with you. You still have the power not your W. The difficult part of this is choosing the road less traveled, the road that is not easy, it is all uphill filled with pot holes and at times you may even look down and find it hard to see the road at all. This road however leads to a better you, a happier more fulfilling life and yes possibly the restoration of your M.
God Bless
Wow, that entire post is FILLED with wisdom, but I especially loved this part, as it is SO true:
Quote:
Time and Patience are the keys to success. Whatever your W tells you today does not necessarily mean that is the way she will always think. She can change her mind. She has already proven that, right?? She made a vow to be faithful to you and she changed her mind about that…….soooo….even if she says she done today, does not mean she will not change her mind in the future.
