First official meeting with a lawyer yesterday. He encouraged me to take my time, make H do the work etc. But, he also didn't know all the details of how much work I have done for how long etc. But, he also talked about how D is financial suicide and some scarey things.....
So, I extended myself to H one more time last night. Maybe crazy I know... but 20 years and three beautiful kids....
I said "H, are you sure this is what you want?"
H: "I am not sure about anything."
RW: "Well, then why are you making a final decision right now? This process could be slowed down if certain things could be in place for me to feel emotionally safe."
Well folks... that's where it always breaks down.... when I make my "demands" (i.e. boundaries) about cutting off resumed contact with OW, MC, transparency etc.
I said to my H last night, "no one can say I didn't try to save this M". He said, "if that's what you need to tell yourself." Wow.
So, I gave it one last try.
I don't regret that.
I needed to do it.
He is still entrenched in the fog and there is nothing I can do about that.
