Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[john28]

Thanks Sandi. I'll continue to pull back to the best of my ability. I think she really is trying to make the most of a bad situation. I'm almost positive she hasn't taken the EA deeper under cover - mostly because of what I've discovered from the EA.

This EA was not a "love" attached EA. She was using this OM to feel better about herself, talk to someone about our M, live out a fantasy life, but she's made it clear to me that she didn't have any romantic feelings for this person. She understands that the OM motives were different from hers, that the OM wanted to be with her, use her, whatever. She didn't care - she felt like she had someone to talk to that understood her.

Therefore, I think she did, or maybe is going through withdrawls, but not to the degree that a full blown love EA would have. She has had a full blown EA before, and swears this one wasn't anything like that. Yesterday I told her that as hard as it was for me to grasp, that she was going through withdrawls from this EA and I would give her some space. Her response was, "I don't think you understood what went on." Which leads me to believe she is telling me the truth to the extent of this EA.

She has expressed remourse and sorrow to me for this EA, but like you said she definitely still has resentment.

I don't think she's playing the wifey role because before these past two weeks, she was VERY clear that she was moving out on July 26 (after our S birthday and hers on the 24) before I started DB. There has been no talk of her moving out since. She is going to see her mother for a week in NY next week and taking our S (family reunion, already been planned for months) and hasn't said anything about moving out after. She told me the days she'd be gone as she irons out the schedule.

I'll try Puppy's test, but not anytime within the next week or so.

Yesterday night I tried really hard to give her space. She was talking about maybe going out to get some things for the birthday party around 9:00pm or so, and I said "Go ahead, I've got some reading I want to catch up on." She said OK and was gone for about an hour or so. When she came back she expressed she was happy to get out of the house. We watched some TV then went to bed.

In bed we were both reading and she turned over to me and said,
"I'm not doing anything to betray your trust. Nothing. Trust me. And, I want to let you know that even though you annoy me every day (laughing), ILY very very much." with a sweet smile on her face. MY HEART LEPT A THOUSAND MILES. Weird to say it, but that's the BEST I've felt in months. My W never says much like that. I immidiately thanked her for her comment, said ILY back, and I gave her a kiss as she smiled.

That was a nice way to go to bed.

I can feel like she doesn't want to be a WAW, but she's very stressed and craves love.