Future, My aunt said today that my XH wants to get emotion from me. It doesn't matter what kind--sometimes its warm, sometimes its angry, sometimes its playful, but its clearly important to him to keep that emotional connection with me. So, he provokes me with all kinds of things until he gets it. Humor, flirtation, anger, whatever buttons he needs to push to feel some kind of emotional connection to me.
Future, think about your W and you. My question for you is whether you feel BETTER and HAPPIER and more yourself with that string to your wife or if you feel better without it. I think that we all have to answer that question. I have realized that I feel better without it and need to respond without emotion wherever possible. For me, keeping the connection makes me feel sad and a huge sense of loss. Its confusing and conflicted. It makes me long for what I think could have been--but not for what was or is.
So, the question for you is: Did you feel better before the turn of events, when you were working on your own life, or do you feel better afterwards--where you are waiting to see what might develop? Go with which of those feels better. I couldn't take the limbo of the second approach and the feeling like I was being kept around in case XH wanted a Plan B. So, I did the right thing for me. But ask yourself those questions and see how you feel. If you feel better without the string, cut it. You've learned some good lessons and can apply them to a new relationship in the future. If you feel better with the connection, be honest about your feelings and expectations and then be patient and see what develops.
