That is exactly how I have felt from day one. If he wants this, even if it is do it yourself dissolution, then he should pay for it. Thing is I don't know when he will come up with money. He makes only 8.50 an hour and although he pays child support directly to me and is aware that when we go to court that it will then go out of his paycheck, he still has very little left each month. That is why he was living with his Dad, but now seems to be living with OW or shacking up or whatever. Child support doesn't care about his very high truck payment and insurance and cell phone bill, etc. Those are his choices. Also, when this is all said and done he will have to get his own health insurance instead of being on mine, and he doesn't know how on earth he is going to afford that. Oh well.
So, I can either wait for him to get money til God knows when, or do it myself which really kind of makes me sick at the moment. Friends tell me this will give closure, and maybe that is true but I'm not sure.
Yeah, I know and plan to get it all in writing...every little detail. Tonight he asked me for receipts for the child support he has paid me thus far. I said no problem, although I reminded him that child support did advise us that it wouldn't matter receipts or not, that it is still considered a gift in their eyes. They did say that I could go into court and verbally tell them that he had been paying and it was not necessary to back up the child support. I gave him my word and I meant it. I dont know if he is afraid now that my anger over OW2 will change my mind. I guess I will write up some receipts though. He is also trying to say to me again tonight that the only reason that I don't want the kids to go on overnight visits at her house is because I'm angry at him and her and afraid that they may like it there. Ugh. He now says that he will let me know his decision tomorrow about where he will stay with them overnight this weekend. He refuses to believe that I do firmly believe that it is not a good idea right away. In the end, I guess there is maybe nothing I can do. I don't know. I just want him to give the kids some time to adjust and get used to it all. Maybe I am going to have just give up on that point and give in. It gets totally exhausting fighting about this stuff with him while also fighting with our oldest who seems content to defy any and all rules in the house and be disrespectful and as argumentative as possible. I am feeling beat down tonight.
Sometimes lately I do feel good and strong, and others like tonight I just exhausted and ready to give in on everything. I know I can't do that though. Thanks for the ideas on the good reads and I will be getting them before this weekend I think as kids are going with him and possibly to her house. I don't think I am going to deal with all of that too well, and honestly don't know what to do with my time when kids aren't around. Haven't had time for myself in 10 years so it is overwhelming.
