I AM A HOME IMPROVEMENT SAGE, LUMINARY, AND GENIUS.
WHAT POSSESSED ME TO THINK THIS?
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I started working in my living room on Sunday, as I am in home-makeover mode.
Foolish. Foolish. Foolish.
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Remarkable accomplishments:
*painted living room walls (BIG room; got paint in hair yet again, though amount minimal) *put together incredibly attractive ladder-style bookcase; have found myself to be unusually skilled at using an Allen wrench *used caulk gun to do minor repairs; showed extreme talent with this, too (despite long, snaky drips of caulk intermittently squirted on floor) *applied wood filler to holes in new wood trim around new back doors ("new" meaning March); primed wood with amazing skill and precision; painting will commence this evening *removed books from built-in bookcases; organized books on floor by author and/or genre; painted bookcases with glossy paint that will match the trim I am going to repaint in the coming days (oil-based paint slightly more difficult to get out of hair) *hung two new dramatic pieces of artwork that each depict a single koi in a pond *also hung a set of circular mirrors; still need to wipe off fingerprints from mirrors and patch holes (I readjusted and rehung a few times) *placed new tin sign I received on mantle, though it will find a permanent home on bookshelves. Sign reads, "Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Scorned"
When I wrote those things, I still had some sense about me. That quickly went out the window, perhaps from my excessive exposure to paint fumes or my overestimation of my home improvement abilities (combined with my underestimation of how long these improvements would take).
A summary of my drawn-out endeavors:
*painted wood trim around back doors; still pleased with glorious, gleaming surface *noticed that wood trim touches baseboards; realized that baseboards should be painted, too, for consistency reasons *began to paint baseboards of 500+ sq. ft. room; realized that baseboards touch the trim around door that leads to hallway; painted trim around this door, too *continued to paint baseboards; came to baseboards that touch wood around front door; painted this, too *carefully placed oil-based paint can lid out of the way as I painted; moments later, sat on paint can lid *painted built-in bookshelves after handyman neighbor reinforced a few bowed/sagging shelves; noticed that bookshelves are very close to crown molding (10 feet from the floor); obviously had to paint crown molding, too *organized 551 books on bookshelves in most attractive arrangement *while painting crown molding, had this thought: "How hard could it BE to paint a ceiling?" Oh. No. *ordered new chair for living room; assembled it (correctly!) as Boxer dog plotted his first nap on it *have begun to plan ways to improve my kitchen; feel like I could paint cabinets with relative ease
Other recent events:
*trimmed tomato plants that have grown to 6+ feet high *mowed lawn regularly in blazing, unearthly heat *took Boxer dog for "paw"dicure; was asked to wait where he couldn't see me after pawdicurist grew tired of his prancing and wiggling each time he looked over and saw me *allowed 15-year-old half-brother to talk me into purchasing two frogs; can't believe allowed myself to be swayed by his compelling argument as to why frogs should live with me; now purchase live crickets on a weekly basis *cavorted with friends several times each week
Next post--special moments with family. Lunatic uncle strikes again.
