Ok, got it, AA. I am not willing to have S5 at his house any more than it is, but for now I need to go completely dark. No more minimal casual contact free of conflict. If he thinks he wants to be with her and be out of the M, I will test him now. No more cake eating. I will only speak to him via email regarding finances and custody schedules. NO more family time. I will be gone when he is here with S and I will go straight to my room and refuse to talk until he leaves.
sigh
That sounds a lot more effective for you and the marriage than your previous strategy.
SeeingRed tried that for three years and it didn't make a diffeerence.. You CAN try to wait this out, but my advice is to do what you can to make your H uncomfortable with his choices and OW uncomfortable with hers (if you can using exposure) and steer clear of them both.
You have to save your sanity and health first, THEN save the marriage if you want to... once you have your sanity and health in good stead you will be in a place where can you say :
I am Ok with him coming back, and I am OK with him going.
