H visited the children tonight for 5 hours as he normally does on a Wed.
He was in a calm relaxed mood. It actually feels as if he feels at home here again. He was holding S13 hand and stroking it at one stage and then played a card game with him before giving him big cuddles. He did this once before he went into withdrawal for 12 weeks.There is a peace about him now that I feel.
I am also sure H was stood in our bedroom at one stage. He certainly seemed to come from that direction. He hasn't been near there for months and even at one stage used to close the door if he was upstairs.
He was laughing and making jokes with S13 and me. No sign of depression. Good eye contact and he touch my hand twice. Both felt natural and normal. He made no mention of the wine etc and neither did I. He was wearing a watch OW bought him for Christmas when he arrived. I noticed he subtly took it off during the evening as it had caused a conversation at Christmas that had upset me.
I'm not sure why but I showed him the photo's from our holiday last week. He didn't ask about it at all but as it involved the kids I told him about where we had been and how we had a good time. He didn't say much and really struggled looking at the photo's. I think he felt guilty and sad that we all went away. It is highly unlikely that he will ever have all the children on holiday with him in the future.
When he left he was upbeat . He is taking S16 away for the weekend so will be back on Friday to pick him up.
I did try a different approach when I showed him the holiday photo's. Normally I wouldn't have said anything unless H initiated the conversation. Although he was uncomfortable he didn't get angry and did make small conversation about the holiday when I initiated it.
I will watch and wait to see what happens on Friday.
I feel at peace and calm at the moment and detached from his rollercoaster.
