It might sound "perverse" to some, but I heard of a couple where the wife was very attractive and would give her husband sex only if he regularly completed a long list of household chores. Strangely enough, he got turned on by her having this power over him.
In their case, you could say it was "barter" itself that was the spice.
Ssmguy,
There is something rather pathetic about this story - bartering sex for chores is emasculating and a downward spiral - implying that sex is some kind of "reward" for "good behaviour". Once that dynamic is created more and more chores become necessary for less and less sex... All this does is exacerbate the dysfunctionality of the HD and the LD.
Something that perplexes me about your sitch is why you stay with a woman that doesn't want to own or work on her own sexuality, even to make you happy and fulfilled.
The only reason I can think of is that you have children? So exactly how old are they now? And how long do you plan on staying? Until they're 10, 15, 20?
S&A
"A man can be destroyed but not defeated" - from The Old Man and the Sea, by Ernest Hemingway.
Which I take to mean that every man has within him a spirit of relentlessness and optimism. Its already there; he just has to cultivate it.
