After Exposure - Keep It Going

[Mike.4545]

For what it's worth QS: My wife moved out very soon after dropping the bomb on me and after me finding out about her affair. It's been about 2 months since then, and I can honestly say it's quite a bit easier not having to see her or talk to her every day. I don't know why, but it is. It was harder at first, but I'm actually starting to enjoy some of my freedom to do whatever the hell I want...when I want. I have all the same feelings you have...horrible mental images, mental what-ifs, what's she up to right now, who's she with...etc. I think once you have some time on your own...you'll start to feel a bit better and your days will become more manageable...with less and less of these feelings. It has for me at least.

What keeps me moving forward and may help you:

- Fitness: I focus on exercise and eating right. I look better now than I have since I was 18. I lost 35 pounds, I'm cut, and I love it. And I know it will help me in the future if I have to start looking for another hot chick!

- Friends: How's your network of friends? I'm blessed with a lot of really great friends that I try to spend as much time with as possible. They've been going out of their way to help me through this, and we've been having a lot of fun together lately. Single friends are even better to hang out with =O) If you don't have a lot of friends, get out there and try to make some!

- Movies: I'm beating up the local Red-Box and watching a lot of movies lately. I don't feel as lonely at night when I'm into a good movie...and I don't have to sit through any chick-flicks either! All the guns, explosions, aliens, and fighting movies I want!

- Pets: We have a 7 month-old puppy that is a great companion in lonely times. I have basically raised her single handed and told my wife I was keeping her. I was lucky because my wife didn't have a problem with that. Try to get custody of at least one of your dogs...They can really bring up your spirit when things are dark. I don't know what I'd do without my puppy!

- Hobbies: It's really hard to focus on the things you like to do when you're miserable...but force it. I force myself to focus on favorite hobbies when I have nothing else to do but sit around and think of painful crap.

- Think about the future: This can be really difficult to do...but if everything is going to come to an end, then at some point you're going to meet a new woman. I think about how everything will be new and exciting again with that new girl. I'll get the same thrill that my wife is getting now, and I'll have made the personal improvements essential to making that relationship successful long-term...while I imagine my wife being set up for failure. HAHAHA! When you got married, you never thought you'd get the chance to do this again...you gotta remember that meeting new women and sharing your life and the things you like to do, is fun! You might get to do that again. Even though right now you don't even want to, when it happens...you gotta realize that you'll really have fun courting a new woman.

I dumped as much reality and pressure on her affair as I could. I make sure any last impressions my wife has of me are positive and pleasant...and that she has seen my efforts to improve myself as a person.

I know I've done about everything I could in a respectable, mature, and honorable fassion.

If you can do the same, you'll be able to let her go and soldier on for yourself without regret and start to find you're own individual happiness again.

=O)