You don't realize how dysfunctional things are until you are outside of the situation.
This ^^^^^ is why you detach.
Once you are detached enough you can begin to look at the old M in a slightly different way. Hopefully you will really identify and determine YOUR role in what happend. Then you can truly identify the things that YOU want to change about YOU and being the process of changing them or as other would say - killing them. At this point the change become what YOU want for YOU as opposed to what you feel YOU need to change to get your H back. It is an interesting time. One filled with pain, relief, joy and a ton of other emotions. This is the "work"!
Quote:
But I just can't seem to let them go yet.
You will in time. In YOUR time.
Quote:
pretty down the past couple of days to begin with
You will have these moments. Hell I still have'em about once a week. I found what helps me is to focus on something else. If I begin to think about the R...i try to think about the good times as opposed to the bad times. When I do this I realize that it was not all bad and I give thanks for the good times that we did have. These feelings then prompt more compassion for my W. More understanding.
If you have not read it...try and pick up the journey from abondoment to healing. A great book.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
