How do I save my marriage to husband in MLC?

[RLay1100]

I am sitting here and reading all the responses I have gotten to my last post, and it has me in tears. I KNOW I should let him go, but it is so hard. (I know you all understand this.)

I keep WANTING to move on and GAL and focus on the kids and ME, but...
I mean, I TRY. I joined the gym and the kids and I go regularly. I do occasionally go out with my friends and we have a good time. I do smile and laugh a lot (even though I really don't always feel like it). I talk with my boys a lot to keep a check on their emotional state, attitude. We snuggle up together and watch tv most nights, which I THOROUGHLY enjoy. Thoughts of him and what he is doing envades ALL of this, however!

I want to take the kids out to a movie and I am reminded that he has abandoned us and won't help out financially so I don't have the money to spend to take them out for fun.
My dryer has quit working and I am reminded of his absense from our lives and lack of care for us because he won't even help me fix it or buy a new one.
My car is not running well (I have no idea what is wrong with it), and I am reminded of how deceitful he has been because he promised that if I used the money I had saved for a newer car on HIS race car (a few weeks before he had us separate), he would buy me a new car soon after. I did give him the money, but,obviously, that was a lie.

I am so hurt. I am so lonely. I don't understand, and I want to so bad.