But when it comes down to fighting her then what's the point?
I do think it's different when there's infidelity. If one goes with the basic premise that affairs are highly ADDICTIVE (and I do), then you have to rightly view your spouse as an ADDICT. With that as your model, I think it's reasonable to assume you would try and fight for them, and for the marriage, for some reasonable amount of time. At some point, that noble fight jumps the shark and becomes some combination of pathetic, emasculating and emotionally damaging, and you have to let them go, just as you would not allow a drowning person to pull you under with them.
