In fact, when we spoke via phone today I told her it's time for me to do just that. I somehow need to find a way to do that, while still being involved with each other somewhat. Even now, she still wants to spend some time together and remain "friends". The optimist in me says that as long as we remain somewhat involved in each others lives, there is a chance. I know many would say it's time to do otherwise, but my gut just doesn't agree. So many people would be thrilled to have any time with their WAS.
I am trying to let her go in my mind, but it's just not real. At the basis of every thought and action is my desire to have her here with me for the rest of our lives.
She is truly my favourite person in the world. I am honestly lost at this point and have no idea what to do next. I have NO interest in dating others or anything like that. I think it's possible to get back to where we were a few weeks ago with some minor tinkering. I think....but I really don't know.
If you go this route, I would STRONGLY suggest you NOT do the "remain good friends" route, nor continually let her know that you do NOT have any interest in dating.
Either one of those things make the task twice as hard; BOTH of those stances, simultaneously, will damned near kill your chances.
If you are ready to let her go, then you really let her go.
If you go this route, I would STRONGLY suggest you NOT do the "remain good friends" route, nor continually let her know that you do NOT have any interest in dating.
Either one of those things make the task twice as hard; BOTH of those stances, simultaneously, will damned near kill your chances.
If you are ready to let her go, then you really let her go.
Puppy
Honestly - I am not truly ready. And doubt I ever will be. So...back to the former status quo???? I was somewhat happy....
As long as you are NEVER willing to give up, not matter WHAT she does . . .
And as long as you are happy with crumbs . . .
Then crumbs you shall get, and you will never get her back.
It's basic "push/pull" human dynamics, BTM. Be willing to take JUST ANYTHING, and JUST ANYTHING you will get. Let her go, and begin to move in the other direction, and you MIGHT just have a chance.
As long as you are NEVER willing to give up, not matter WHAT she does . . .
And as long as you are happy with crumbs . . .
Then crumbs you shall get, and you will never get her back.
It's basic "push/pull" human dynamics, BTM. Be willing to take JUST ANYTHING, and JUST ANYTHING you will get. Let her go, and begin to move in the other direction, and you MIGHT just have a chance.
Puppy
Truth Puppy - At this point I am happy with HER crumbs. Seriously. And JUST ANYTHING feels good.
I still believe that with my WAW, I need to somehow balance being a friend etc with letting her go. Whenever I attempt to do otherwise, she sees it as me only wanting to be involved with her if it's on my terms - if there is sex involved etc. I somehow need to make her feel that I love, like and want her - all of her. But...magically at the same time let her feel like I have let her go as my wife. Only then will I have any hope of her wanting to be my wife.
I just read my previous post. Damn - that sounds impossible.
But again - I will never give up. My 5 years here is proof of that. And 5 years later, there is no divorce and there have been some great moments, weeks and months during that time.
And in another 5 years, you'll still be here, posting the same things.
It's your sitch -- you can do what you want, obviously. But it's not going to work.
Puppy
Sadly, Puppy, five more years of the way things were just prior to the vacation would be (to me) better than losing her completely. Until I am truly ready to risk losing her, I may never be able to do what will work.
Until I am truly no longer willing to accept her crumbs, I will never be able to make genuine changes. Right now, her crumbs satisfy me. Yes, I know it's ridiculous, but it's the truth.
