"I learned after the second time that W has the expectation that if we had sex it were to be unprotected"
Did she actually tell you that? If so, then since you had that convo with her about you feeling uncomfortable at starting a family until you're on better footing, she should understand.
"I am not quite sure how I am contradicting myself..."
It's the word "affirmation" is the issue. You are looking for some kind of affirmation from her - maybe not ILY but actions - to show that she is dedicated to working things out in some way. That goes back to your previous controlling nature. You have to let it go and let her move according to her timetable not yours.
Now if you're uncomfortable with certain things, then say so, but keep your answers short and to the point. You're still in that analysis phase of wondering why she's doing what she's doing. That's fine to a certain extent but overthinking is what gets you into trouble when you communicate too much.
Things go much better when you just go with the flow. Keep that up. There are so many positives in your sitch but sometimes it seems like you don't appreciate them. Take things one step at a time.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
