You need a few good "truth darts" as they call them.
W: Oh, you are such a fantastic father! You: A fantastic father would be in a committed marriage with their mother, but I'm doing the best I can.
W: You are so great with the kids, taking them to all these great places! You: They are probably being spoiled out of my guilt that I can't be with them 24/7. But that's what divorce does....
W: Isn't it great what wonderful parents we are!! You: Wonderful parents stay in a committed marriage since statistics show that children or divorce are more likely to have a lot of problems when they get older.
See what I mean? She is in lala land, and needs "reality".
(btw, I think it's GREAT the things you are doing too--UNDER the CIRCUMSTANCES!!)
