My W and I are physically separated; I got served D papers; we are fighting over custody. I have signs she has someone. So what. It has no impact on custody or a D in my state. It's her life, she can do what she wants. I don't care whether she has someone else or not at this point - it's irrelevant only because I have detached from her. Hope that makes some more sense.
i thought detachment was loving them from a distance/hands-off approach. knowing you cannot control them but it doesn't mean you stop loving them.
the example you gave above, is beyond detachment.
Where in there did I say I don't still love her? I wish her well. She's the mother of my children. She was my spouse for 9 years. I have no control over what she does, nor would I want any. Control is an illusion.
I'm not sure what a hands-off approach is. I can't see how a hands on approach would be healthy - I'm defining hands on as somehow trying to get them to be/do the way you think they should be/do.
I'm not sure what lies beyond detachment. I guess it would be an aggressive approach to make someone's life miserable?
I face the facts. She doesn't want to be with me. She wants a D. She may have someone else.
What's there for me to ponder and think about? Seems her position is crystal clear.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
