i think in a healthy relationship, there is some level of codependency and control. otherwise, two people shouldn't be together. it is when the codependency and control takes over the relationship, then that becomes unhealthy.
i was quite careful about exerting control and codependency. i worked mainly on myself - controling my own spending, putting my m and h first, etc. then i let my personal/deeper issues get the best of me and it ruined my m.
so i know how i contributed to the breakdown of my m. i've been here long enough and worked with the vets on that part.
i don't know if you can say that allowing someone else to be the decision maker and you be the follower is a definition of love. where is the love reciprocated in that?
anyway, i've done a bit of work on my own sitch and self-reflection on what has happened. i just wanted to know what i would need to work on to attract someone in the dating world. i've never been in the dating pool before so this is new to me and i'm in my late thirties.
