That is exactly what happened. It is more begging than pursuing. You are sometimes begging for her to love you back...
I will AGAIN tell you your issue here..
You are NEVER satisfied or happy. Never satisfied "just the way things are"... This has been going on for over ten years. You have made many nice changes, but the one I keep telling you is crucial to you, you keep right on glossing over and then going right back to not being satisfied. This is why she has felt for so long that nothing she does is good enough.
Why? BECAUSE IT ISN'T to you. Never is. Now her wanting a baby is turning into you PREACHING" to her about "we need" (notice that you did NOT say to her. "I feel or I think or in my opinion"..) no you said "we need to or we should or we shouldn't etc. etc..)
Quote:
...we have to work on our marriage first, make things better before starting a family"
wrong way to communicate....."we HAVE to"... (she doesn't HAVE to do anything.)
No matter what you want to believe and no matter anything else... You are going to get farther ahead by ALLOWING her to have thoughts, feelings and opinions of her own. AND WELCOME them... She should not be saying to you.. " I know that, I am not stupid"... That is her telling you that she feels you are preaching or talking down to her or telling her you know more about the subject than she does, it tells her you KNOW that she hasn't thought of these things.
It is communication like this that doesn't work. Don't do what doesn't work. Do what WORKS.
