It has never came up but maybe she is preganant? Is my mind just playing tricks on me now. I can't have kids because of cancer. We were fine all the way up until June 18th and then she gets married June 26. She went to austin May 31. Could she have gotten pregnant and found out that soon? Just a thought. I dreamed it. It would explain some things.
Like when she told me what if I get preganant by him and came back to you we could have a baby. She was high as a kite on drugs when she said it. Her parents are mad as hell at her-I though it was for taken the drugs.
Her parents were super mad at me for getting her some pills when I wanted to see her. Makes kind of sense. It she was preganant and they knew it they would be mad at her for taking drugs and getting preganant. But is the time line way to early? She is 40 years old. She wasn't taking Birth control the whole 9 years we was married.
I have not contacted her or talked to her since Saturday. I want to ask her if she is. I know that she thinks that it would be over if this happened. That I would never consider taking her back if she was preganant. I told her not to contact me again and that I would not contact her. Would it be wrong to ask in this instance? Sorry, I already sent her a quick email asking her. I didn't say anything except that I had heard that rumor. I don't know if I would forgive her and raise the child but I might. That is so lame of me. But should she know this information? She cries all the time so I don't think she is happy where she is at but she doesn't appear to want to be with me either. So, maybe she thinks she made her bed and has to lie in it. Is it wrong to tell that she doesn't?
Man, these are some crazy thoughts. It would explain alot of her actions like why she would stay with a guy that she says that she doesn't even know. Is the time line too short? Should I tell her that this could possibly be worked through on my part or just continue hurting everyday and trying to let her go and take her out of my heart and life?
Another thing that didn't add up was her parents asking me if was willing to marry her again if this marriage doesn't work out. They never said that she was preganant or anything like that is was going to be willing to marry her.
Each time you think of your W drop down and do 20 push ups. Put a rubber band around your wrist and give yourself a good snap each time you think of her.
How you are "trying" is not working. Time to try something else.
No matter what her issues are (addiction) she is MARRIED to somebody else.
"I can't shut my mind off. The more I try the more I think about it every minute of the day."
Get HELP. Even if it's the medical kind for now, although in your case I really don't suggest it since you've got an addictive nature. Do something that will keep you busy and your mind off of what's going on.
Run, meditate, pray, whatever. Just something constructive rather than destructive like drinking.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Read a book for pleasure. Nothing to do with relationships, just for the pure pleasure of it.
Get a laugh a day. Tune into a comedy station, read the comics. Take 5 minutes to find something funny in life.
Find a challenge - crosswords, a musical instrument, a foreign language.
Help others - volunteer to do something for the needy.
You have to get yourself back on track. It will take time but you can do it, just as many others have done before. You CAN do it. You will need help and it will take effort but you CAN do it.
Pregnancy dreams are actually about starting a new phase in your life, a change, a new beginning.
Dreams are always about "the self", never about the people in the dream.
The other people in our dream are there because there is something about them that is either the same as us, or we want to change in ourselves, or that we want to emulate.
Pregnancy dreams are a good thing when people are telling you that you need to let go and make some changes. It's your subconcious telling you the same thing.
