Setting them free

[steady]

Based on my experience you don't set them free. Faking it till you make it isn't it. Thinking you set them free isn't it. Vascilating from not caring to caring isn't it.

One day you just realize that you have set them free. In one R I was in many years ago she left me for another guy. I remember being in the shower and then it hit me - like a lightning strike. It just didn't matter any more. She was free - and more importantly I was too.

Recently in this sitch, I just realized out of the blue - she's free and so am I.

I look at it like Grace. It just happens.

I'm not saying you can't work you arse off to get there. I know it was a combination of working out my codependent dysfunction; removing unhealthy hooks; her vindictive and 'evil' decisions/actions/words; time; regaining my self respect; etc..

The time-line is unique to each individual and each situation. But once you get there you'll know it. I'm certain of that. If you're wondering if you're there yet, you aren't, so keep working.