Eric - Thanks for the thoughtful response. I will try to find a couple of jokes to send your way.
The texts or emails once a week were just an update on kids/house/etc. The kids are old enough to communicate with him on their own. You are probably right about his guilt ~ I often get lost in the exterior "king of the world" behavior and don't think about the internal illness.
Filing for LS "should" give me some of the structure I need for better detachment. It's a crazy thing - as I was going through my notes and documentation for the attorney ~ it really appears that one day we were hard at work on our marriage and feeling good about doing the right things and the next he is gone and COMPLETELY cut me and our relationship out of his life. I'm still stumbling through the shock stage I think. I know grief isn't chronological but I am trying to maintain an awareness of where I am in the process. Thank God I have my S with me and we are beginning to develop our own routines. We are even getting a puppy when we return from FL. He (and I'll admit I) am excited!
Thanks again Eric for your insights! You are a great resource!
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
