Hi hon - Sorry you are going through this Definitely get legal advice. It is important that you know what your rights are, and what is customary in a situation like this.
If your H is currently making concessions that benefit you (like the pension decision) then you may want to push forward. They become less generous as time goes on and any guilt wears off and they start hearing horror stories from other divorced men.
Sounds like the big issues for you will be child support and custody.
Have you been married long enough for alimony to be an issue? Does he make more than you? Who will pay for child care while you're working?
Make the most of your time with the attorney by being prepared with a list and some numbers. Also check out wife.org for some financial advice.
And I'd like to offer you a little bit of hope. I was married for 25 years, loved my husband madly, fought like hell against the demise of my marriage. But once he'd been gone a few months? Man, it was so NICE not walking on eggshells all the time around a man who didn't appreciate me. Dream big about the life you want to have, set some goals for taking care of yourself, learn something new (I learned to play the drums after my ex left and now I play in a rock band! )
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