Am I allowing him to have his cake and eat it too?!
Don't think you'd ask that if you didn't think it was true. But yes, pretty clearly.
What is his motivation to treat you with any respect at all? It's not that you'll leave, because you won't. It's not that you won't give him sex whenever he wants, even to console him because some other woman dumped him, because you will and do. It's not that you won't accept being treated like his employee, because you do accept it.
Why do you want to be married to him? I'm not asking that to be mean, there must be something, but it's certainly nothing you've described about him so far, is it? What's so great about this guy?
Conversely, why do you deserve the way he's treating you? Why are you the one making the effort to "go out less?" Did you flaunt an affair in his face? What is so awful about you that you don't deserve any better than to be cheated on, insulted, and used? Did you massacre a village of innocents somewhere?
