Par4me - you know, I didn't tell her things that made me feel weak - I told her things that were more honest about how I felt than maybe I've ever been. It was kind of a relief. I had not realized how much I had enabled her. I know what I said hurt her, but they are maybe things I should have said a long time ago.
Anyway, don't feel sorry for me - I've done enough of that already. Time to build now.
Poet - heh, nothing so elegant from me - it was a reference to the Don Henley song. Seemed to fit where I was when I started this thread.
Bill - thanks. I don't know, this last episode may put an end to it. But it was honest, I'll tell you that. And I'll bet you she'll think again before starting another conversation with me about how this is all my fault. Not that she's really talking to me right now anyway. You put your finger on it, I won't have it. I'll take my share, yes. But my message to her was, you need to take a freaking look at yourself.
I think this relationship has loosened its grip on me enough now, that I'm starting to be able to admit things to myself that I didn't before. How much I had stuffed. How much I had not said, how much I had enabled through trying to be supportive.
I do feel like I am emerging, I guess. I'm not a believer BTW. Maybe that's helping me to emerge.
