Ya, in your situation in particular if I were the sposue I would offer up transparency immediately to AVOID you getting paranoid from past hurts.
THIS GUY is just ANTAGONIZING your scars... rather petty if you ask me...
I just pictured in my mind him snarling and handing you his phone and telling you smugly "there's nothing there... Just me talking with some guy friends"
And you taking the phone and tossing it into the blender and turning it on full blast...
"Do you think I CARE what's ON there? I care that you are so RUDE as to HIDE things from a woman who was HURTFULLY CHEATED ON... how RUDE of you do DO that to someone.. I don't give a damn what's ON the phone, I give a damn that YOU HIDE IT FROM ME."
Something like that...
Secret keeping does induce panic, anxiety, etc. If you factor in other behaviours like the matress clinging, the threats of leaving, etc... its all very abusive and stress inducing.
I haven't even GOT into infidelity yet. Him benig wayward is enough on its own... If he dones't LIKE his marriage he needs to KNOCK OFF the VIDEO GAMES and DO SOMETHING to FIX IT
Hide my phone? Yah.. That should make things tons better... I'll do that...
