H's A ended but no commitment to work on M....

[xin]

I've been posting at Newcomers and thought i should post here to get advice on what to do after my H's affair has ended.

I found out about H's EA in Dec 09, he asked me to consider a separation not long after that. In March 2010, I finally agreed to give him some space. I agreed to give him 3 months to make a decision about our M. While away, I initiated most of our contacts over phone or skype. Due to the distance, it was not possible to meet up during our separation.

In late May, my H asked me to visit for a weekend. H looked pretty happy to see me and couldn't keep his hands off on the first night. But he turned rather cold almost immediately after ML and continued to be distance the next day. He told me that night that he doesn't think it was possible for us to reconcile. I left the next evening as planned.

A week later I decided to give OW a call. She denied having an A with my H and claimed that she only thinks of him as a friend. As i didn't see a reason for her to lie, i decided that I would come back to my H after my short term contract work finished a month later.

My H agreed for me to stay with him while i'm in town. He even said I could sleep in our bed when I volunteerd to sleep on the couch. I led him to believe that I would move out when i get a job - i didn't give him any deadlines.

Since i've been back, in late June, a number of things happened:
1. the day after my return, my H bought a very expensive diamond earrings for OW but on the same day H told me they had a fight.
2. 2 weeks after, my H tried looking for a place for himself after I refused to move out. According to H, the OW was going to move in with him.
3. 3 weeks after, OW ended A with my H. I overheard their phone conversation where my H asked why she has been avoiding him. H told me the day OW broke up with him face to face - he asked for sex and I agreed.
4. Now, 4 weeks after returning, I am doing all I can to DB, doing 180 and a bit of GAL. My H has not said he wants to work on our M, in fact he asked me to move out again just this weekend. I told him i'm not financially able to move out and started to cry. My H apologised and said he was just missing OW.

I've decided to hang in here for at least 3 months as sooneone has said there is about 3 mths of withdrawal after the end of an affair.

I'm rather puzzled by my H's behaviour last few days - he almost appeared happy! I'm worried he might be in contact with OW again or OW2! I'm going out less in the weekend and continued to cook and do things around the house for him. He doesn't hesitate to ask me to run errands for him either, and has also asked if I'd do his taxes for him if he pays me. Am I allowing him to have his cake and eat it too?!

Other than 180 and a bit of GAL, what else can I do to increase our chances of reconciling? I've tried to ask H to go out but he has so far said no both times. Is it too early to initiate a date?