Near WAW with EA - almost textbook sich

[doing my best]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Yes in the MC session today I held back on all of my gushing. The only thing I really hit hard on was the EA situation and gave examples of what I have learned. Asked W if she would read about EA's and how they develop and how they can be recovered from on her part....she said no to reading anything. But....if I take her for her word and that there is no contact....then she is going through a very heavy withdrawal.

This OM was not just any old BF....they were pre-engaged in college....talked about houses and children and their wedding. Then he never called her after her graduation party in....1988. Yes 24 years ago....she never heard from him again until March 2010. They reconnected through FB and she now says that he "let her go because he thought she would never want to live her life in Kentucky". She does not get it that he dumped her. So 3 months later (September 1988) she runs to Florida and meets me. Now that she has reconnected with him she feels she married the wrong guy (me)due to a "misunderstanding".

Anyway W still says she wants to be on her own. MC says why and W says so she can begin her healing process. Can't focus on herself now because she is concerned about me....says she still cares about me and excited to see me so happy about my changes. But the conversations are draining and she cannot focus on herself. My mistake is that we talk a lot and I have shared too much stuff with her...so MC says OK....no more R talk unless it is here in the office. I am fine with that. It is a DB technique that I have trouble following so now I have an order from the MC.

Other reason to be on own is that I am still exhibiting controlling behaviors. W says "you are like my dad...he did the same things and I can't take it." She is so super sensitive about this for some reason. So we walked through behaviors and stuff like that. I will need to do some research into this because it apparently is a "thing" with me. W says they are things I do not realize that I am doing.

That's it for now. We go on a vacation next week with the family to visit her side. Interesting....she does have one sister whom she has confided in...about the sich BUT W says she has not told her about old BF. In fact W has not told anyone about what is going on. Not sure why. I have this board, a few strong personal mentors, the MC, and I am thinking about calling a real DB Coach. But W has just the MC and her sister....and even then she has not shared all of the info....I am the one who has seemed to tell MC more about the EA....not W.

DMB