I'm trying to compartmentalize and figure out what I really want.
I want my boys living in the same town as me. Thus right now with her threatening to move there this is a good thing. So I'd like to figure out how to keep that ball rolling in the right direction.
I do not, however, want her living in the same house as me right now. There is a part of me that is very angry, very spiteful (no, really you say?) that is not willing to just welcome her back with open arms. she already said she was coming back, moved back for 5 days and bolted. so actions speak louder than words.
What I am thinking of doing, however, is giving her enough money to get her moved in comfortably... to support her in a way that she will not be strapped.
I once she is moved there... I think the best next move is to figure out scheduled time with the boys living with me and living with her. I will use the court system to guarantee this for me... no longer will I rely on her word which is Mudd. I'd like to help her find meaninfgul work.
I feel that if and when we can get into a routine, get the boys into school... and the dust settles... then perhaps dating could be something we could do. I'm not totally shut to that idea but again right now the thought of it kindof makes my stomach turn.
but again of course the pie in the sky family thing would still be ideal for the boys and everybody involved.
but in my heart of hearts right now I do not see this woman as being someone who really cares about me or who would just be simply nice to me...
last week she was trying to extort me for money every day in exchange for letting me have the boys for this week. this is not exactly an attractive way to behave.
so will cut off my nose to spite my face at this point? not sure it is that. I think your first line-- about how her intentions reek of insincerity is the main question to address. and to protect myself and my interests with my boys first and foremost... while supporting her in a way that makes sense and perhaps leaves the door open for other things. though right now that door is locked and I've hidden the key... not sure where it is.
