"Me? Still a bit of a struggle not seeing my kids. I miss coming home to them at night and hanging out with them in the evening. It hurts. I DO feel a bit lonely." Extremely painful!
Maybe start a bunch of on-going projects to keep constructively busy or attack what gets piled up when the kids are around or at least prepare for the kids next visit. (e.g., I did a major surgery on my house and my computers, then smaller projects like upgrading the plumbing, electric and phone wiring; then there's laundry, groceries, school supplies, etc...)
Have you tried to <<completely>> detach from your rotten X? Otherwise with her level of hostility your wounds will take a long tome to heal (right, doc?). Have you tried not answering the phone, thinking about or encountering her or her BFs in any way, shape or form? e,g. I use e-mails (absolutely unemotional, max 2-3 lines), she stays at the curb to pick up the kids, BF cannot come hear me or the kids or contact them when they're with me, No "co-parenting" but "parallel parenting". I got some of this implemented via the court and the rest by simply being very disciplined. Boundaries!
