Why do you have to say ANYTHING for goodness sakes?
You are doing this out of emotion, not out of strategy.
And this strategy isn't just to save the marriage it also allows it to end with some dignity.
Going to HER now and saying "I'm done" isnt' going to help save your marriage and it isn't a dignified way to end a marriage either.
You are emotional right now and thrashing about... Don't do ANYTHING while you are in this state of mind... ESPECIALLY confront your darn wife with "I'm done"
If you DID say you believe in honouring commitments in your FT session then DO IT... be committed to a healthy life for yourself and protecting your dignity thorugh your marriage or divorce...
Surrendering a battle with "I'm done" isnt' giong to make YOU feel any healthier a few days from now.. you will just feel miserable and exploited and most of all BULLIED
Be done when the marriage is done if you want... If you end it sooner in your heart than the divorce date then you are just surrendering to a bully and you will regret it years from now.
End it well, end it on the time it is scheduled to, and stick to your commitment.
Because your wife has been covertly and overtly bullying you from wayward day one.
A lot of infidelity stems from bullying. Your wayward spouse feels miserable so they want you to feel as miserable as they do, so they pour gasoline on a home that is already on fire and set the home ablaze.
Your wife and now this FT tag team you in a HEALING session into leaving your home and now they have made you feel so damn miserable you are ready to do it.
People have been saying do what YOU need to do for YOU. If YOU need to stay in that home and work on it for a while longer and YOU need that then YOU DO IT.
To HELL with your wife and her bullying.
Don't do the same thing that people being bullied do - give in... You will regret it years from now.
Well I just got more intel that she is looking for an apartment and has one in mind.
AAAAAANNNNNDDDD
She messaged a MUCH younger guy at work, and asked him if he wanted to be ROOMMATES.
She messaged a coworker earlier in the month about this guy, and said how "hot" he was and how she had such a good view of him from her desk.
Wow is ALL I can say. WOW. Allen you are right about that new category of "on the prowl".
She would be moving labor day weekend REGARDLESS of whether I sell the house, and getting a place (maybe) with this guy.
So a 2 bedroom apartment then turns into a love shack for them. 2 bedrooms turn into one when she pounces on him, and that is the end of that.
WOW. Now I know he hasn't said yes yet, but he is young and out of college and has a horny divorcing older woman asking him to split an apartment. AND she has said several times that she thinks he is HOT. WOW.
Anyone else think this is NOT going to turn out to be a disaster?
Last edited by Quicksilver264; 07/21/1002:31 AM.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
Your wife will learn life lessons eventually one way or the other QS. I would prefer to see that she learn safely within the marriage, or better yet already learned them from her MOTHER when she was a child..
Clearly both childhoood and divorce have not educated her in maturity... She may have to learn the hard way... I certainlny hope she smartens up in the next few weeks.
Moving in with a college guy you don't even know because you think he's HOT?
Seriously QS, do you think that guy is going to be above board with her?
The LAST two guys she thought were "hot" where violating a marriage and military law... Your wife isn't being very selective right now...
Just leave her to learn her life lessons the hard way. She had a chance.
I would have a private chat with that FT and tell her to stop playing tag team and to start doing her damn job.
QS, focus LONG TERM... she will end up miserable, used, and violated and feel like a fool.
YOU will be above board, made level headed choices, you threw away that phone number ad you will be sailing while she is drowning.
Chin up.. she's on self destruct... This guy is going to cheat on her inside of three months if she does pursue this further... She may even end up with an STD.
I understand. I didn't even bat an eye when you told me she lied about her mother giving her money.
We warned you a long time ago to stop listening to her for info... its not reliable.. we told you many times that testomony from a wayward is worthless and to verify every detail yourself.
It probably adds up quite easily now why she wants you to sell so bad now doesnt' it?
You sir now have HAND
You don't have to give up the dogs, just keep them yourself.. what's she gonna do.. take a shotgun to them?
Why don't you just take the dogs and have them put somewhere safe with a friend of yours she doesnt' know.. ask him to sit them for a couple months so they are safe...
If she complains tell her calmnly
"You were just gonig to put them down anyyway remember? WHy do you care where they are? How do you know I didn't put them down FOR YOU?"
