Still chipping away at EA

[Allen A]

You ARE aware that there is a withdrawal period after the affair ends right? And that for three months or so he won't want to be involved in the marriage at all?

Need more dates for me to confirm more.. your sig is rather sparse

[xin]

AA,

I believe my H has been carrying on an EA with OW for less than a year, since about Sept 09. If there was an PA, it would have happened while I was away, between April and June. The OW is married and according to my H, her H is oblivious to her A. Do you think my H's withdrawal period would stll be 3 months? Should I initiate things to do with my H during this period to help cheer him up?

[Allen A]

You need to read Harley's site for details on withdrawal.

You cannot "cheer up" an addict in withdrawal... If you put any time into them its to mointor them for SETBACKS... He is MORE prone to an affair NOW than before...

I have read from WS' who had affairs on this forum that the withdrawal CAN take as long as the affair itself did... if the affair was a year he needs a year to process the END of it

THIS is assuming he has REMOVED ALL emails, photos, etc that may remind him of the affair again

If he's keeping souveniers he hasn't ended the affair yet.

[Allen A]

Hi again Xin, why don't you open a thread in our forum so we aren't using ElvenCat's... is that ok?

You can open the thread with a point form summary of your situation so others can offer advice as well...