Different woman. The first time it was his best friend's wife, who he didn't really even Like! That time, he never left home more than 3-4 days, but when he was home, he was drunk and angry at me. Affair lasted about 5 months, drunken anger about 9.
This time, he has been succussful in his career in the Army that he is the NCOIC ( RE: BIG DOG) at Ft. Chaffee. The OW is a Staff Sgt. of his who is, get this, married to a Major. She is also the same age as our oldest child. He is currently living with her, but I believe my complaints to the powers that be may have just succeeded in him being told to move out. He is now looking for an air conditioner for our travel trailer. Not that he'd tell me any of this.
I'd love to tell you I'm on Facebook, but since that't the way the little bi%ch outed my H to me, I cancelled it. She also sent msgs. to our kids, as well.
punkin..so do you think he was in MLC for the first A or the second..or is it possible to go thru MLC more than once?
My H is also looking for women that are just a bit older than his 21 year old daughter. he searches for 25-35..he is 47. that's just gross. He used to tell me stories about going out with his coworkers and they would oogle these young girls that came into the bar..he thought it was awful because he had a daughter the same age as the ones they were gawking at and making lewd remarks about. Now he's doing it and justifying it by thinking that he wants to have more kids so he needs to find one that age. The one A that I know of..she was 10 years younger,and ugly as a stump..he said so himself..my C told me not to say negative things about her because that would make him want to defend her..and it did.
punkin..not sure if there is any other way to chat. You could create a new FB account with a made up girl's name and go that route. I'm kinda paranoid too. Sometimes i worry that someone on here might be the OW or my H trying to bait me for stuff or try to be my friend just to get info from me about what I'm going to do. It sucks to be so paranoid like that when I'm usually so trusting. this whole MLC thing has made me less trusting in every aspect of my life. If your H, who is supposed to love you more than anyone, can do this to you..then for sure anyone else would. that's scary to me.
I have read on these boards that if an MLC is interrupted, and my WH's was, as he was deployed to Iraq for 18 months, that it can come back with a vengence. Also, he has the added PTSD from Iraq and Alcohol. I have also read from Snodderly, that MLC'rs tend to cycle about every 8-10 years. I don't think that means they all go diving back off the deep end, just that they might have a bout of depression, etc.
My husband is 48 but looks 58. His hair is entirely gray, his face is wrinkled. He has an 'alcoholic nose'. He has had more surgeries than I can remember at this moment, including having a rod put into his back due to an injury in Iraq. He is desperately seeking to hang on to his youth and vitality. We were happy grandparents looking forward to retirement, and then he just 'flipped'
i wonder why they don't allow private messaging on this forum..that would help those of us who aren't comfortable with laying out all the feelings and all that for everyone to see. Sometimes it's nice just to spill your guts to a few caring individuals that you know will help and not hurt.
I don't know. They do allow private messaging on a forum called Surviving Infidelity, but I've found I like this board better. But, we're all here to help each other. I just happen to be the one that read your thread about sitting in the library looking for someone to chat with. I'm about to leave, though, for a grandson's ballgame. Peewee tournament. Tell you what, feel free to email me:Just don't turn my email over to EHarmony or any of those other sites. I keep getting invites from them for some reason. Probably the OW put my name in the hat.
I have also heard the interrupted MLC theory. Sometimes don't you wonder if MLC is just an excuse to screw around? I mean honestly, if it weren't for all the other stuff, like the fog and the scripted speeches of his, the body building, the need for validation from other women, the anger, the total personality change..if it weren't for all that (and some other symptoms that I can't think of right now), I would just believe he was a cheating a@@hole who became mean from all the stress of his job and doesn't give a crap about anyone anymore. Do you think that sometimes too? I hope that's normal.
Absolutely normal. My husband is such a Functional Alcoholic that his upper command thinks his Sh$t doesn't stink. He drinks like a fish, but will be up, dressed in uniform and ready to report for duty on time and ready for action. In the Military, as long as you make your superiors look good, they don't give a damn what you do. I do know that guilt eats him alive, and that is why he spews anger at me. He asked me if I was dating, I told him "I'm married, I don't date".
ME: 54 Him: 51 M: 20 years T: 21 years OW/New wife: 36 Sons & Daughters: 7 (ages 24-36) Bomb: March 4, 2010 He Filed: April 28, 2010 I Contested: May 1, 2010 Standing Down: 11/24/10 Divorced : 05/04/2011
