I have never posted to you before and I have not read thru your thread so take what I say with a grain of salt.
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I don't want the pain.
None of us do. What helps me is the old saying...no pain..no gain.
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I don't know WHO I am anymore
Maybe you don't but you can sure hell find out. Look past the pain for a second. Look past the hurt. Take stock of what type of person Irish is. I bet you will find that she is stronger than she thinks. You can do this girl. Com'on. Yeah this sh*t is hard but at some point in the future it will get better.
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Wondering if H is mentally ill, sex addict, or MLC or all of the above. If he's in MLC - what stage?
Ask yourself this question...if I am really looking and working on me..does it make a difference what he is.
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He walks around very sure of himself - completely detached from me and our life together.
Oh...I know this so well. Yep they seem happy, not a care in the world, everything is just f'in peachy. I am not going to sit here and tell you that he is in pain. Nah...enough people will say this to you. What I guess I will tell you is this...if he is happy - why aren't you giving everything you have to being happy yourself? Why not stop looking at him for a day or two or three and just really do something for you.
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Infrequently texts kids regarding surface things
You know what he will pay the price for this later. It really is not your problem. You be the best parent you can be to the kids and leave him to his "supposed happiness".
Everything you are going thru is normal. You are still in shock. You still hurt, you want to stop. What I sooooooo want you to understand is that you really determine when this stops.
Do you know why we tell you to detach...so that YOU do not HURT. The more hurt you inflict on yourself the longer it will take you to heal. See Irish...you need to let him go completely. You need to just really love him from a distance. You need to really just focus on your healing. As hard as it is - it can be done. It must be done. Stand up girl. Say F' it - say today I am not quiting...not quiting on me.
Do me a favor...send me a list of all of the wonderful things about YOU.
Then please...do a favor and find something to make you smile. I don't know anything. Try doing an underarm Fart thing (remember that from school)...try looking up jokes on line. Go out and smile at someone. Irish - it may not seem this way...but life is waiting for YOU.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
