tired of this

[A_goodman]

MP,

Thank you. This all gets dizzying after a while. I will be there for her if she approaches me. Otherwise I'll just worry about me. The thing that is the hardest is the lack of control over what outcome we will have here. I guess Men are doers and fixers. This is bad mojo. I have been feeling pretty calm lately, but now the knots in my gut are all back. She won't be home until later this evening so I won't be able to show her support until then. Which is good, because I have no idea how to do that. How to approach her W/O looking like pursuit? how to broach her anger this morning and still remain detached? What about all my bad a$$ boundaries?

You know, reading your explaination is the first thing that has made me believe that she REALLY was in pain over this. Her wall is up hard and it just looked for all the world like total indifference. In her list, she mentions the pain of the R and having been in grief and it all seemed like hogwash to me, but I suppose it makes more sense now. Only, it may be too late to help her. And by default our M. I hope not. I never meant to hurt her. Heck, I didn't even know I was hurting her.

So now I have this massive list. A lot of which will require togetherness and affection to properly address and show my changes.

I'm screwed.