Now please listen to me for a sec….I want you to sit down for a second and breath…a few deep breaths – what I am about to say may not make sense and may even hurt.
First – this is YOUR life. Not mine. Not anyone on these boards. Only YOUR – whatever you decided to do..we’ll as they say in the hood “I got your back girl”!
Your C, others on the boards, your family, your friends, me, everyone will have an opinion on what you should do. Here is mine FWIW…
I want you to sit still for a second….sit very still and I mean completely still and then I want you to think about your M in it’s entirety. All of it. The good, the bad, the ugly…all of it. I want you to think about your H. I want you to recall the good times, the bad times and well the boring times. You know the times when the sex was not the good and you and he were just kind of going thru the motions. Think about it.
By your own admission, your H was a “wonderful” man. He was everything that you wanted at some point. He was. Guess what…underneath all of his MLC crisis he still is. Will he come out of his MLC fog? I don’t know – really no one does (okay God probably does). What I do know is that you Love this man and you hurt right now. I get it. I really do. I know the pain first hand. Just so that you know…the pain was so intense for me that I really wanted to blow my head off – anything to stop the pain. Sorry a quick thanks to my best friend who did not “lend me his gun”. So TRUST ME I know the PAIN.
Do you know something…I can NOW say that I am glad I went thru this process. So glad. Do I still hurt – yep…will I get over it – yep. The big questions (at least for me) is….am I a better MAN. ABSOLUTELY FU*KING YES.
You see, your fear has you by the balls…oppss.. I meant bra strap…you have no control right now or so you think..What you do not realize is that YOU really have control. You can control HOW YOU FEEL…what you DO and when you DO it. All of this is really in your control. You can call it a day right now. You can say to H – “F you” – you can.
So…you are wondering right now….do you stick around or just pack your sh*t and call it a day. Let me ask you this…which one is easier? Which ONE do YOU want to do. Don’t tell me you don’t know – that’s BULLSH*T and you know it. You know you want to stay and give your M a shot. Give it time. You do..your just AFRAID. You want a guarantee that this is going to work. You want your life back. You want everything to go back to normal. Sorry to say – it is not..at least not right now.
God sometimes allows things for a reason…have you given this some thought? Do you know what tomorrow brings? Do you know what your life is going to look like in 5 years? Have you consider that maybe a higher power want to set you free..set you free from the FEAR that paralazes you.
What if I told you that if you stuck it out for 2 years your H would return – would you? I bet yes..know why – cause it is a guarantee. You don’t have to worry. You know the outcome. You know the answer already so you don’t have to face your fear.
You say you don’t know how to detach – let me explain in my terms what it does not means..It does not mean that you do not hurt, I does not mean that you will not be angry, it does not mean that he will come back 2 days after you detach. It does not mean that you do not love him. What it does mean is that you are taking a standing for ITAY. You are finally saying to yourself and to your H (by virtue of your actions) that you love him enough to let him be AND (pay attention here) that you LOVE YOURSELF enough to go and find YOUR happiness. The happiness that you are responsible for.
Face the fear girl…Face it.
So you don’t know how to GAL…well let me explain it again in my terms. It really means do whatever the F you feel like doing that will put a smile on your face. No..I’m not saying go meet someone else – you wouldn’t anyway. What I am saying is doing sh*t that you want to do. Go the gym, read a book, hell (sorry I offend you or anyone with this next statement)….but hey go by yourself some toys, take out the frustration – ANYTHING ITay to put a smile on YOUR face.
I know you can do this… answer me this one question… what is “THIS”.
I will reach out to you on the alt.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
