Focus on boundaries and come up with some consequences.
Exposure to the family is a must here. He likes thinking he's the family hero. When his 18 year old daughter hears from you that he's prowling facebook in secret looking for old girlfriends I don't think his daughter will be impressed with him.
No, I'm sure not! And exposing to extended family won't do much good: he doesn't even speak with his father. His mother doesn't even send birthday or Christmas cards - not even to the kids! His sister is much younger and lives far away. (They all do.) All of my family is far away as well.
Cruising or Prowling sounds about right. I think they feel so crappy about themselves they're looking anywhere to get an ego boost. Maybe it's MLC maybe it's something else. Seeing Red has mentioned that Larry goes into why people act this way in this state - something about being dysfunctional.
Well, he texted me not to wait on him for dinner because he's going to be late. Uhhh... wasn't waiting on him anyway, esp. after last night. He still thinks I'm in the same mindset. I'm not. I'm totally not. Honestly - if it weren't for the kids I would just tell him to get out now. I've cried all day and I think I'm finally all cried out! Well, for now at least.
I am not up for a confrontation tonight. Too much going on with the boys and a ton of homework to get done tonight before big test in the morning. It isn't that I am avoiding it. I know it is inevitable. I just want to do it from a position of strength, when I'm feeling more "bad donkey" as my D says. :-) I am, right now, trying to be the calm before the storm. I haven't said much to H. Haven't been neither pleasant nor unpleasant. I am going to get my script together after my class in the morning when I can pull it together. I'm also trying to decide if I need to seek legal consultation before I drop the speech or letter. At the very least I want to make sure I am covered.
So, before I go into the confrontation I want to make an attempt at getting ahold of H's phone so I can try and have some proof of EA. I feel if I could prove that he is up to something that it will have break his fantasyland. I know he will just say the usual, "this has nothing to do with us..." if so. Doesn't matter. I need to find some way to gain power. I tried in the early hours this morning to get ahold of it, but I swear it seemed that H was sleeping very lightly! Should I go forward knowing I may get caught at snooping??? Hmmm...
I want to plan my next move(s) carefully as I believe they will be crucial. Just a gut feeling I have.
Talk to a lawyer first since you are financially dependent.
Second, script the confrontation. I don't reccomend snooping. I would just tell him outright that hiding things right now is not something you are comfortable wtih and he can offer you the transparency the FAMLIY needs to feel stable and safe again OR he can leave.
Don't give him more than five minutes to decide. Watch him and his phone. If he doesn't hand the phone to you inside of that five minutes he's in an EA for sure.
Don't give him more than five minutes to decide. Watch him and his phone. If he doesn't hand the phone to you inside of that five minutes he's in an EA for sure.
Yep! Just push the "burden of proof" onto HIM, Sunny, based on his past history and how he's acting.
OK! Sounds reasonable. Part of me just wants the satisfaction of saying, "Yeah, right...I have the proof you sorry b#s*rd!" but I guess it's not necessary.
I will seek legal counsel before confronting him - hopefully this week.
In the meantime I'm going to up my game up in the 180s dept. and GAL.
