"Maria, I really dont know how I did those things...". I left it at that.
Kalni,
I have to admit I have not followed along on your sitch...Heck after the second year I barely followed anybody’s but my own.
But I think our spouses really did have some kind of out of body experience with the OP. Three years ago the woman I thought was my wife who’s naked pictures I found with the OM WAS not the woman I was with last night. Three years ago she told me that she was in love with him, did not know if she had a future with him (he’s married) And that she could NEVER ML to me again because it would not be the same. It would not be the same because when we did make love we both would be thinking about HIM. Last night I did NOT think about him at all and I don’t think she did either.
Someday I have questions for W about “what happened” but that is far into the future…Right now I feel like this is the first day of our new marriage. Right now we still have work to do but this was NO BABY step… All is right in the world again. As hard as it may be... (AND I WAS TOLD THIS MANY TIMES)..What happened … happened. Talking about it will not change it. I think the more you and I bring up the OP it just brings back memories to our spouses. I believe that they are trying to forget those memories so why should we remind them?
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
But I think our spouses really did have some kind of out of body experience with the OP.
Yep! Out of his body and into hers... LOL
Anyway, we had a lovely weekend. Went to the new Acropolis Museum, then late lunch at our favourite Italian, Sunday we went swimming. No hash words, no tension, relaxed and easy, enjoying the summer, our kids and some affection.
What did relax me were exactly his words that I quoted in my last post. Which made me realise I NEED his verbal remorse/regret of some kind. It's the way I am wired I guess. Who knows?
I am looking forward to some relaxed days. New position is better than anticipated and much less stressful. Just what I needed. K
Glad things seem to be going a little better. At least a little less stressful.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
Anyway, we had a lovely weekend. Went to the new Acropolis Museum, then late lunch at our favourite Italian, Sunday we went swimming. No hash words, no tension, relaxed and easy, enjoying the summer, our kids and some affection.
This is exactly how life should be: relaxing, tension free, and enjoyable. Life is far too short to be dealing with stress, worries and friction.
I'm glad you had a wonderful weekend - here's to many more!
Sometimes my anxiety makes me miss the fun part of us being a family again. My kids have been making it hard on him lately by asking questions such as :did you fall in love with mom when you saw her? only mom dad right? glad you are back home, we are good all together, etc etc. They say nice things but I am sure he feels awful. Or at least a little awkward. Especially because it's not me making these comments.
I think the kids are now starting to question how permament this sitch is. They are afraid to relax. Just like I am. It has been a process to piece this M together. From 1 to 10, I think we have reached 4. Long ways to go still...
Yes, but four means you are almost halfway there! And the foundation is what takes the most forethought, right?
Reading along every day just not always sure what to post. My sister is trying to work things out after her H betrayed her, but regaining trust is a stumbling block. I can see that here, as well, it is a common theme.
I hope you can have more relaxing, enjoyable times like you just had with your husband and build a new future, a new relationship, better than the old...
Elare Maria.....alot of folks would have given their first born to be at "4". Remember us (the gang) way back and how much we were hoping for even a 1. Remember you? Well you are just where you wanted to be ... furthermore, slow is the way to go in my opinion. Enjoy the moment Maria. There are no guarantees in life!
4..is better than null. As the priest said to me, about 2 years ago, as I tried to save my marriage, "you both want to be sitting on the porch together, looking at your grandchildren play on the lawn and say to each other 'thank G-d we made it thru those tough times'" Two people need to make that scenario come true.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I am glad you talked, I am so glad what he said relaxed you. Seems like that is a good thing to emphasize to him, how much it helps you to hear those things.
So very glad you had a nice relaxing affectionate weekend.
4 is almost halfway there! So glad you feel like there has been that much progress!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
"I am looking forward to some relaxed days. New position is better than anticipated and much less stressful. Just what I needed." What "position" are you talking about? ;-)
