My Wife is Having an Affair with Co-Worker

[SunnyD]

Well, that's a good thing then! Use your numbness to your advantage. There's no reason for you to fight with W, she's not going to listen to reason anyway. She is self-absorbed right now. Just go about your life and be the best LSG and Dad you can be!

[LSG]

OM has been gone on a trip with 2 of his 3 sons, and she has been home early everyday, and she is calling the kids the past 2 days. OM comes back next Monday, so I wonder how she will be then. IC she has too. It seems since she is divorcing me that maybe she is playing up the good mother role a little bit.

Oh, She has a sleepover with 3 other girlfriends, so she says. He is gone, so it could be true, or there could be OM2. I don't know.

Interesting change in her lately. I don't know what to make of it.

[LSG]

I am so p!ssed at W right now because of the lies in her response. I can't believe the accusations that she has made against me. She even says she does not have a boyfriend in the response. She says she is working all this overtime at work which is not true. I need an attorney so bad. I have to find one very soon.

I cannot believe the false accusations against me that I am controlling, jealous, and angry to name a few. Of course, I am angry now.

I do not believe what she says about me. She says I am not even looking for a job. She says I do not want to work. I want a job so bad. I always have.

I just need to get out my frustrations now, so I do not let that ever happen while I am around her.

She is trying to get me kicked out of the family residence too. I have always said that she wants me homeless.

She wants the kids to go to school in Japan too in the summer. I fear that if they go over there that I will never see them again. There is no policy for them to be returned. She is going to try whatever she can to have them live there. I have to stop it.

Anyways, I do not know what I can do right now. I am at a loss for how to protect the kids and me financially.

What do I do if I get this job, and I have to fight a divorce? How do I tell the employer when I am a contract worker. What do I do?

I will probably be homeless and lose my kids if she wins. I am at the end of my options. I have to have the strength to keep fighting this ordeal.

Sorry just needed to get it out!

[LSG]

Journaling (July 18, 2010):
July 17, 2010 - Wife takes kids to buy snacks and make dinner for us. She makes dinner and buys snacks because she gives me no money even for an emergency for the kids if they need something. I clean dishes. I have to figure out ways to take care of them on my own with no money. D has a sleepover with her friend at 6:00 pm, and I spend time with them and clean up. All W does is lay in the bedroom by herself and interacts very little. I watch TV and help kids when they need it. I spend some time watching a SYFY movie too. I have them get ready for bed and brush their teeth. I put them to bed and clean up after them by myself. I go to bed at around eleven and the kids too.

Kids wake up and watch some TV.

Sunday, July 18, 2010 - I wake up and get myself ready early, and then I wake kids and feed them breakfast, make their beds, have them brush their teeth, and get D's friend ready to go home.

W wakes up and just sits on the sofa and does nothing to help. I make our bed and spend time with the kids. Kids have W and me go to a show on zoo animals with her friends. D tells W before laying in bed next to her that she is going to a pet store with me and S. I take them to the pet store for a couple of hours. Get the kids home and feed them lunch. All of us go swimming together. W gets out after staying a short time. Leaves and comes back to the pool. I get out after a while of playing with kids. Everyone showers and W feeds the kids a snack. Kids and I go to the park for three hours. Come home and kids sleep for a while, and then we go to McDonalds for dinner, but I did not eat because W has said some many bad things about me in the Response to my OSC. I eat to survive for now. I am made to feel guilty if I take anything from her. It is very difficult. I will be okay. Come home and W takes off for an hour or more to put gas in the car. She gets home and then goes in the bedroom with S to watch TV for an hour. I get S to brush his teeth and rimind him. I put kids to bed at 10 pm by carrying them. S give me a little statue to protect me, and W nothing. S and daughter goes to bed. I spend most of the day the kids, and W does not even attempt to spend time with them. She had a choice to go when kids asked her to come. Her choice to stay home.

I am now journaling here.

[LSG]

OM has been in Costa Rica from July 5, 2010 to July 18, 2010 with his two sons. W was checking both their horoscopes today. He is a Virgo, and she is a Piesces. I knew she would be back into him today since he is back.

[LSG]

Allen and Puppy Dog Tails would you please provide me some ideas on my thread.

I appreciate any help that I could get to save my marriage from my impending D.

Thank you guys!

[LSG]

Journaling (July 19, 2010):

Well, W came home at about 7:42 pm and left at about 7:40 am. OM is back from Costa Rica. Her whole personality is different. She is more distant everyday.

I meet with an attorney. Once her and her family know I have an attorney all he!! will break loose. It is not going to be fun. I have a good attorney and a wonderful support network that will not be matched anywhere. I can not believe my good fortune. I am definitely very lucky today.

It is going to put the final nail in my marriage. I never wanted a divorce, but I have one, and I need to do what is best for me and the kids. I wish there was someway to put a stop to this madness.

[SunnyD]

Well, LSG, doing what's best for you and the kids is the only way to save yourself and perhaps save your marriage in the process! It's not easy though, that's for sure. It's good that you're journaling and keeping detailed accounts. I need to start doing that more.

[LSG]

Well today did not go as well as I thought. The money on the credit card was not as high as I thought it would be, so I could not retain him. He will do the paperwork, but I need to come up with more cash. I will be working on that problem everyday until the hearing. I have to make work because he said that this hearing is as important as some trials, so my kids are not taken and abducted by W to Japan. This is a very serious threat. I need to know of a company or anyone that will loan me $1,200.00 ASAP. I do not like to ask these questions, but I have no choice. My kids are the world to me, and I have to stop her from taking them.

I am going crazy with this sitch. It is becoming very scary.

The job looks to be between me and another person. I may have to interview a second time. How do I bring up that I may be in court sometimes when I am being hired for a job while someone is on leave. It is so stressful everything for me. I am holding up well, but I need a big break in my life and soon.

I am praying, and I found another four leaf clover. I hope this helps me.

Wife is coming home late again. We all went to dinner, but W and I do not even say a word to each other.

The kids are great, and I am fighting so hard for them. I have to.

[LSG]

SunnyD,

As always thank you for the support. I am not as optimistic today as I was earlier. It seems just when I think everything will be okay, it gets messed up somehow. I am trying to stay positive, but it is really difficult for me at the moment. I have to fight for everything, and it is stressful. Always this way for me with everything. Never easy, but I will survive somehow. I cannot journal tonight for some reason. I have to work on an amended OSC response in case I have to go to the hearing by myself which scares me so bad that I could mess up. The paperwork is hard because it is so important and involves emotional content.


I need relief from the pressure. I am going to miss a family reunion too. I am so disappointed. It is the day before my hearing 8 hours or more away from where I live.

Anyways, thank you for checking on my sitch.