Hang on a sec. I have this dead horse I need to beat for a sec, then I'll move on...
Other than her word, how do you know the EA is over? Your game plan is MUCH different if she's currently having an affair.
I haven't seen anything so far in this thread that says she's remorseful about the EA, just that she's sorry you got hurt by finding out.
If you have intel showing you it's over, then absolutely, put your Big Boy Pants™ on and give her the space she needs to get over him and work on her feelings for you, without any R talks or pressure for affection.
If you're just going by her word that she'll be EXTRA GOOD this time (pinky swear!), she's just stalling until she figures out Plan B.
