1) Proceed with caution 2) Don't give up just yet - remember for a sec why YOU came here. Why you put yourself thru the pain....let me answer...cause at one point you loved her. You loved her enough to go on this journey. 3) Take this time to "peek" if you will...take a look at who she is and who she has become. She may surprise you. You may surprise you.
I agree that going to see an IC is a good idea I just don't know if now is the right time to push it. If anything I would wait until she moves down.
Here are a few other thoughts...
When and if she moves down you should not ask for proof. You should continue to do what you are doing. Your normal tendancy is probably going to be to push - DONT. Just take it slow, start a friendship, start trying to co parent the kids. Become a hugh part of your kids lives. Keep living your life and let her live her. She just may realize what I already know and that is under your hurt, under the pain, under the insecurities, underneath everything everyone sees...YOU STILL LOVE THIS WOMEN. I know you do...so please take your time dude. Give it a chance.
You know that pain you feel, that mistrust you feel...Funny I was thinking about our sitch...ask youself this question. What if, she become a little more gentle, what if she really appologized when SHE was ready to, what if you guys just started to get along. Can you forgive her? Before you answer...one more question
Should she forgive you for your mistakes? If so, what is an acceptable timeline? Oh...and who defines the timeline? You or Her?
Just think about these questions.
I know you dude - I do. I am so happy that you have found that place with your kids. I am. I know more about your sitch than many on these boards so I do get what you are going thru and feeling. As your friend....do me one favor...
Think about the questions above. Make sure PRIDE does not get in the way. Extend a hand...carefully...but extend one. AND THINK....how many times/years did she expect another Bradley...how many years...FTR...in my book if she is REALLY willing to try...I think you own it YOURSELF to give it a shot.
Finally, giving her a list of things she needs to do shows a lack of trust. Not a good way to start a NEW r. You have a right to not trust her..I know...but maybe...she may be coming out.
Love ya man! Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
