As an outsider though, from what I have read since the very start, it does seem (to me) that OIN's wife usually has an agenda (ex: the plastic surgery, the party, the baby).
Most all of us have agendas.
OIN's were (getting his wife back, getting to love him, changing so that she could see he had changed, going to counseling, DB'ing to save his marriage...)
We are all basically selfish when it comes down to it. The one trying to save the relationship is just as selfish.. "Don't divorce me, please work it out for me, please give me another chance" etc. etc.. The agenda is to get them back for YOU.. We use all sorts of excuses, but that is the bottom line.
