Went home at lunch. Stated that I wanted to talk about a list of things I've come up with after much thinking.
Her response:
1. Transparency - she said she already enabled history on her computer and gave me her email password, what else do I want? I said phone records, FB pwd, etc. She said that she doesn't want to feel like I'm her father checking up on her all the time, and doesn't want to live in a relationship like that. She adamantly reinforced that NOTHING is going on with OM. She hasn't left the house in days (i know this for a fact) and hasn't talked to any OM.
Look, Suma, this is either really a dealbreaker for you -- a Boundary of Personal Integrity -- or it's not. If it IS, then you need to insist on it. If it's NOT, then you shouldn't have brought it up.
Now, if there IS anything inappropriate going on with, say, her FB e-mails, she's just going to wipe them clean as soon as you're gone.
Quote:
She said that she doesn't want to feel like I'm her father checking up on her all the time, and doesn't want to live in a relationship like that.
A: "I understand. I wouldn't want to either. Unfortunately, since you are the one who has had multiple affairs, I have decided that this is something that I need in order to protect myself, and know that you're sincere in trying to work on our marriage, without the influence of a third person. If you don't want to, I'll have no other choice than to assume you either ARE still carrying on with someone, or, you at least want to keep the door open so that you CAN. Either way, I'll have my answer." And then I'd give her 5 minutes to decide, without letting her out of my sight.
