tired of this

[A_goodman]

MP,

Thanks for the links. The second one won't open here at work. The first one was very interesting. I can understand the Fear thing on an abstract level. The psychology/physiology behind that seems solid and makes sense to me on that level. But seriously, where does empiricle proof fit in?

Fine to say: yes he's a big strong man and I'm a 120 lb woman, so when we are arguing, his deep resonant voice and physical bulk intimidate me, but when does the mind overide that and say: "You know, I've known this man for half my life. He's not going to harm me. He's a big old teddy bear and wouldn't hurt anybody". Or, "I've seen him stand between REAL danger and our kids without a moment's pause. I KNOW he will never, ever fail to protect them.

BTW, she has always been the more vicious and aggressive in our arguments.

Don't get me wrong, I will use this theory to try and validate her feelings, but while I tell her I understand them, I really feel like eventually she needs to take some responsibility for not thinking critically about this after all these years of consistant proof to the contrary.

And it makes me very sad to think that the one person I've cherished more than myself could really feel afraid of me.