Maybe I wasn't clear enough. I was absent. I wasn't a good father (not because she told me, because I know it). I wasn't supportive enough for my family and picked myself over them many times, both monetarily and attention wise. I think that changes the situation on why she would seek outside "approval"
No matter how she tries to hang all of the blame for this on you, or you try to take all of this on yourself looking for ways you might have caused this, YOU didn't cheat.
You worked so she could stay at home with your child. You should support your partner, but you shouldn't have to apologize for doing things for yourself, like playing golf. If she had done things for herself, too, she might not have felt so disconnected from you and vulnerable to predators like OM. (Come on, who makes a move on a married woman with a child...)
