"The M you have reached has been disconnected...."

[mulesqb]

Hey FIB,

As a fellow NYer I do get the whole hands-on Dad thing..it's funny, my friends think I'm some kind of hero because I got custody of my kids. But I know you understand this..I only got them because my XW didn't want them..in NY State, as a man that's the only shot you have. It's really sick..I was fortunate that my XW's lawyer saw that, read my logs and helped force the issue of giving me custody..I give her L credit, she put my children before her own ego..

The reason, I write all of this is that when I read your words about you missing the kids, it really hits home. It was my big fear through the whole process. I wouldn't have done well if the custody was reversed. But you have handled it so well. Truly inspiring. That's why I know you will be fine. I think the strength and honor really needs to kick in now for you and directed towards the kids.

Am I showing them that I, myself, am strong and moving on?

That's a big YES..you may feel that they have settled in..but they miss you more than you know..my XW has now moved more than 2 hours away..her visitation is whittling away to nothing. They are angry about that..but they do still love and want her in their lives..despite everything she has done, and everything she hasn't..I make sure they know that I want them to love her and have a great R with her..she has no idea..that's why I say hang in their about the kids..you may not see it, but they love you and miss you. They may not know how to show it yet. They may still be a little confused (your kids are younger than mine). They are trying to figure out things also. Keep being the great father you are. They know and they feel it, even if your XW works against that. Your kids will know better. It may just take a little longer. Divorce is tough on everyone. Everyone says kids are resilient. I don't buy that. I think they keep things to themselves because they don't know how to express it. Eventually they will. Just love them FIB. That's all it takes. Enjoy every precious moment you have with them. For a year, I have watched my XW waste those precious moments. Moments she can't ever get back with them. Moments that would have gone a long way towards solidifying acceptance. Instead she drives the wedge further. My kids have figured it out.

Just be yourself. It's good enough. They are lucky to have you.

Strength and Honor.

Mules