Please help me! I feel like I'm making crucial mistakes along the way. I don't want to lose my family to D!!! There has never been any physical abuse or substance abuse on either of our parts, she has slapped me about 10 times in our marriage,
Um, dude: that's physical abuse.
Seriously, I don't know who needs more help -- your wife, with her abuse and her serial infidelity, or you, for your obvious self-esteem issues that you would not only TOLERATE all of this, but needily go ask her for HUGS???
Instead of MCing, I'd suggest you each get a good IC right now, if you can afford it. Maybe if you can each get yourself healthy, you can work on your marriage down the road.
