H in MLC and living with OW. Exposed - now what?

[MarieC]

Hi, all,

My h left on St. Patrick's Day. He was in "temporary housing" but I found out from neighbors he was staying with a bar skank he'd picked up after I talked with him about my concern re: his recent extremely heavy drinking and my fear he'd fail out of his (very expensive) MBA program, where he'd thus far done so well. Cliff Notes version: He became uncharacteristically furious with me, then didn't talk with me for three days, then (2/in 2 weeks) started disappearing at night and started an affair with OW, who knows us both and that we're married, has a terrible reputation, and is a COMPLETE lowlife. He moved in with her and has been there ever since.

For a long time, he tried to "be friends" and denied her existence. I had to keep my mouth shut about her (although I knew from very early on that he was lying to me and betraying me) so that he would sign a post-nup (I made the lion's share of the money) letting me keep my retirement and savings. In return, he took our X5 and almost all of our furniture. His skank caused me great embarrassment when a crime SHE committed resulted in the police showing up at MY workplace for me. (My h is so unoriginal - she looks like "the low rent version of you," according to a male neighbor - just a few years younger.) His financial problems have resulted in creditors calling ME. It's been pretty awful.

As soon as he signed the postnup, I told his parents, sister, boss, and all my friends the whole truth and nothing but the truth. He had been trying to keep her quiet (I think he wanted to wait a while introduce her to our small community as the "new" girlfriend, not the immoral skank he started sleeping with while he was still sleeping with and living with his wife, who hoped this was just a rough patch.) After the police came to work for ME, there was no more covering it up. He ended up losing the respect of his employees, as well, because this incident caused him to lose his US ID card (he's a Brit), meaning he lost a lot of privileges on the base where we work -- and had to sell our X5 because he could no longer afford it. His coworkers have also lost respect for him, especially after he took her out to a World Cup party where she was rude and territorial around our mutual friends and generally embarrassed him - no more outings since then!

It was nice, too, to hear what the male friends had to say about her - I thought she was plain and dumpy (and KNOW she has never achieved anything beyond slamming pork platters and beer on tables and sleeping with other women's husbands, which is why she has such a bad reputation) but it did me good to hear the men express their amazement at my h's choice.

But now what? I was calm and sweet and DB'ing away until I read some of Allen's and Puppy's posts about how that doesn't work (but it DID get him to sign the post nup so at least I still have my retirement!) Now that he's been outed, though... No contact until he can file in February and then just say goodbye at the divorce court?

Ideas? Advice? Suggestions? I ordered Tupy's book but can't download it until later today on another computer. Have read the Conways, Shirley Glass, Relationship Rescue, MWD, and about half a dozen other books...